Tuesday, October 25, 2005
i've realized what a bitch i am. i've always
convinced myself into
hating rita. uh, hating is a rather strong word. let's just say disliking her.
they call it sibling rivalry.but i've got nothing to be jealous about. i don't even live with her. she lives miles and oceans apart from me. she has her own family.
but i still don't like her.i am astonished at how much i'm talking to her recently. and i feel myself growing closer and well, closer to her. it's scary. i think i treat her more as the mother that i've always wanted, and not the older sister that she is.
she'll be coming back to singapore (
again) in december. then she'll be going to kuching. i guess i'll be going to kuching too. this time alone. mom and dad can't take leave. mom's busy with five loaves; dad's busy with the editing and printing and
dunno what of his textbooks. i really want to go to kuching. see some people.
wink wink. hahaha.
i'm running away from all of
that. sorry guys, i just can't do it. i shouldn't even be apologizing. it's my choice. i don't have to feel obliged to answer to you. don't use that
shit about friendship to force me into it. enough of that
crap about bonding and
rubbish that everyone counts. my presence will
not make a difference. so what the heck, just count me out.
i grabbed your attention;
